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Tytherington Weekend Away ⛳️🏌♂️
The annual golf weekend away - a sacred pilgrimage for the members of our highly esteemed golf society. This year, we descended upon the prestigious Tytherington Golf Club, a place where dreams are made, then promptly drowned in the water hazard. As always, it was another glorious escapade into the world of hooks, slices and some truly majestic public humiliation (which is basically what golf is all about).
Now, in the absence of our beloved wordsmith, I, Colin Lewis, have been handed the unenviable task of attempting to fill the legendary shoes of Al and his iconic write-ups. So, lower your expectations and brace yourselves for this attempt at recounting our latest golfing getaway – a weekend with everything from laughter to despair (a special thanks to the 10th tees watery grave), miraculous shots to wild slices, and of course, Sunday’s drunken tee-offs (yes, I’m looking at you, Father-In-Law). Oh, and let’s not forget the afterparty in Danny’s and JJ’s room, where 9 of our very own brave Society swingers (golfing term of course!) risked one last nightcap before Sunday’s first tee, which at the time was just a few hours away. It was a cracking weekend! Here’s a little peak into what happened ...
Saturday kicked off with the ever-competitive singles, and the course quickly proved it was not going to play nice. Bunkers that seemed to have a magnetic pull on your ball, and the strategically placed water hazards, which were less "hazards" and more like “golf ball black holes” (or was this just me?!). In line with this, one of the biggest roars of the weekend was aimed at yours truly (yes, I’m owning this). On the first tee, the nerves must have been overpowering, a 130-yard drive later—straight into the drink—and my weekend was off to a “refreshing” start! I’m sure there were others to follow … at least I made my mark early (albeit in the pond).
When the dust settled and the scores were tallied, bringing up the rear with a not-so-coveted spot at the bottom of the leaderboard was none other than Peter Batey. Fortunately for Peter, Gertie Goose was not allowed to attend this year’s festivities, so she remains safe under my very protective care—for now. But, climbing to the top of the pile, after a nail-biting showdown in near darkness and a valiant effort by runner-up Mike Towell, was the indomitable John Roche, who battled not just the course but a sore knee to rack up an impressive 38 points. Kudos, John! 🏆
Saturday night? Well, it was everything you’d expect. Laughter, plenty of drinks, even an afterparty for the “just one more crew”, before Sunday’s earlier tee. And let’s not forget the unveiling of the pairings for Sunday’s “couples” competition, where the dynamic duo of Daz and Fitzy paired up once more to continue their fortress partnership to defend their title from last year.
Sunday morning arrived, and with it, a few wobbly legs at breakfast. It seems not everyone made it through Saturday night unscathed (mentally or physically). The skipper, who looked barely capable of standing, surprised us all by ripping his first drive straight down the middle. It was either muscle memory or divine intervention. Either way, we were off! Sunday’s pairs competition went down to the wire, with everyone battling not just each other but the weather and their lingering hangovers. But true to form, this hardy band of golfers soldiered on! And doubt Daz and Fitzy at your peril. Once again, they proved themselves an unstoppable force, conquering Tytherington’s soggy challenges to finish with a staggering 34 points from 15 holes. If there’s a fortress partnership in this society, it’s those two. Well played, lads! 🏆
As if that weren’t enough action, the par-3 competition provided its own moments of glory. Across the two days, John Chappo took the honours not once, but twice. Fitzy and Danny also made their marks, with Danny pulling off a Scottie Scheffler-style approach, leaving his ball just inches from the pin before draining his birdie putt—a true golf spectacle! And then there’s ‘Fast’ Eddie Murray, who triumphed three times and somehow managed to look surprised every time he took home more cash. “I really hate taking money off my fellow golfers,” he claimed, while pocketing the winnings. Sure, Eddie. Sure.
And last but certainly not least, a colossal thank you to everyone who played a role in coordinating this weekend. First and foremost, of course, none of this magic would have been possible without the tireless efforts of our event organisers. A standing ovation therefore goes to Daz and Fitzy for orchestrating this memorable weekend. Your efforts are truly appreciated by everyone! Also, a tip of the cap to John Chappo, Graham and Mark for helping with the pairings draw and the presentations across both days!
And for those who couldn’t join us for this year’s golfing agony, hilarity, and the occasional miracle shot, don’t worry, we’re already plotting our 2025 adventure. If you're keen on two days of self-inflicted golfing misery (with a few laughs along the way), give Daz or Fitzy a shout, and they’ll make sure you’re in on the action next time.
For a full album of Tytherington photos, click here
Wrexham GC, 11th August 2024
They certainly kept a Welcome In The Hillsides on our latest trip to fabulous Wrexham, with a herd of wonderful Welsh cows coming out to greet our Captain and Vice on the A55, leading to a Groups draw being carried out on the bonnet of their cars, whilst the Fresian fanclub was rounded up!
Our Skipper and Vice made a breathless arrival on the first tee in the nick of time to a round of moos from our sunbaked gang of 20 Factor 50 greased up floggers, with the temperature nudging 30 degrees C.
The course was simply mint, and scores submitted were predominantly in the 20s, but not all, and so, in 3rd place was our reigning champ, mighty Jeff Burgess on 34 points, whilst in 2nd place on the same score, but on a back 9 countback, was the Society Dreamboat, 'Delicious' Danny Parr.
But, sweeping to victory with an absolutely monumental score of 41 points (subject to the result of a urine test result...), and giving him his first ever Event win, he says, was Mr John Chapman. Tremendous knock John, winning by 7 points!!! (Handicap Committee please take note)
NTPs were won by Gary Chappo, Jeff Burgess, Colin Newall and Alex Stewart, the Captain's Draw Prize for the 6 Lowest Handicap holes was won by Danny Parr, and 2s were converted by Jeff B and Gary Chappo.
And finally, the fight for the right to take our dear Gertie Goose home came down to a countback on two scores of 19 points submitted by the twin Lewis boys, Colin and Mark (it's impossible to tell 'em apart!), but Captain McNally appeared quite delighted to announce that the honour went to his wonderful son-in-law, Colin!!
For the full album of Wrexham photos click here
Ashton-in-Makerfield GC, 28th July 2024
At last, some scorchio weather for a change, giving our sweaty mob of 21 baking bandits a chance to show off their white knobbly knees and sun hats collection!
Scoring mainly matched the wonderful weather, with a good number breaking the 30 points barrier, so, in joint 3rd place were Chris Sully (up there again...) and John Chappo on 34 points, whilst in 2nd place was the incredible shrinking Colin Newall on 36 points
But on the winners podium with a tremendous 38 points to help with his mortgage application, was the coolest man in the heat, Mr Danny Parr. Well in Danny, cracking score!!
NTPs were won by Guest, Jason Jones (he'll deffo be back!!), Daz White, Al Dennis (edging out the Skipper with great glee), and John Chappo, who was the only one to also score a 2 on the day, AND he won the Captain's Draw Prize for the highest Random 6 holes score of 14 points (albeit after a Card draw off against Colin Newall who had the same score)
And finally, thanks to a battling 17 points, one of our newest Members, Mr Steve Hudson was highly delighted to take home our cherished Gertie Goose and introduce her to his two bemused looking hounds!
For the full album of Ashton photos click here
Childwall GC, 30th June 2024
Wonderful Childwall was the setting for our assembly of 15 golfing footie pundits on the last day of flaming June, when England were due to play the mighty Narnia or someone in the Euros.
Scores were a right mix of Wow! and Whoops-a-Daisy! echoing the trend in the Euros, anyhow, in Bronze medal position was a rock steady Chris Sullivan on 33 points, whilst in the Silver position was Slimline Lo-Cal Colin Newall on 35 points on his first outing of the year. Nice one guys.
But the Gold medal went to homeboy and Vice Skipper, Les Hornby, with a tremendous return of 40 points. Well in Les, what a phenomenal score!!
NTPs were won by Captain McNally, Ian Stevo and Callum Newall with one being missed by all and the Captain's Prize was won by the player of the day, Vice Captain Hornby. 2s were scored by the Skipper, Alex Stewart (with a tremendous chip in) and Callum Newall.
And finally, in a real life episode of Tales of The Unexpected, Mark Lewis, strangely nicknamed 'JJ', had been tasked with transporting Gertie to the Event, but forgot to bring her, enter the fickle finger of fate, and, thanks to a score of 18 points, our hero, Mark 'JJ' Lewis collected a spooky miniature version of our Goose to take home and place alongside the already resident, original Gertie... but with an odd smirk on her beak...cue end titles and music with lady dancing to a backdrop of flames...
For the full album of Childwall photos, including a photo of the pint I bought for your wonderful England manager click here
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